COOKING AND DANCING AND COOKING AND DANCING AND COOKING AND DANCING AND COOKING AND DANCING.
Now, normally I don't watch TV; apart from a select few shows I actually enjoy, Australian television broadcasting (including Foxtel, a commercially funded pay-to-view television company, and one of the highest on my list of things to boycott effectively) is beyond a joke.
And it's beyond a joke because there are set rules which stations love to play at. Their idea of "seasonal programming" is "decade-long", so you can be guaranteed that every new TV show they make themselves (when they're not airing reruns of "great" shows like The Bold and the Beautiful, Charmed, Medium, and Cooking with the Stars) has to have a shelf life of at least 8 years.
This has opened way for a new breed of television show; shows so pointless they actually make the Australian junior high school curriculum look like an effective method of education.
And these shows are TV competition.
Shows like Masterchef, Junior Masterchef Dancing with the Stars, Dancing on Ice, Australian Idol, The Biggest Loser, The X Factor, Australia's Got Talent, Beauty and the Geek, and It's Academic.
What really irks me are the dancing/"talent" TV shows, and the fucking cooking ones.
Now I'm not just talking about Masterchef, where people compete against each other to see who has the most orgasm-inducing food to rub over their genitals as they participate in an off-the-camera circlejerk after the show. I'm talking about cooking shows in general; they're everywhere.
Now some of them can be good; you've got ones that open the Average Australian's idea of food from "steak and chips is a full meal that is suitable for a family of 4, at least 5 times a week" to "steak and chips should only be served once or twice a week, and never more than that."
And then you've got other interesting cooking shows like... uh...
With the exception of the culturally based cooking shows, everything else is tripe. It's a copy of a copy, and it is pretty much a non-interactive iteration of what video gaming has become. A TV show now hasn't the intention of showing a selected target audience something new, to entertain, challenge, or enthrall them. It's now about copying the last show, "because it worked, why shouldn't ours?"
And that is what brings me back to my statement; I hate the competition shows. They are the definition of conservative; they are filmed in front of a live audience, using people who don't cost the company a cent to appear on. They are bent and warped to the company's will and pleasure, and their reward is nothing more than a mutual pat on the back and maybe a free wristy no dramas.
This is almost universal with television shows; it also means that "actors" (contestants; gladiators; mules; test subjects, etc.) are disposable in the television show. These shows don't challenge the viewer in any way; they don't require any higher order thought processes to watch; they don't need character development or intelligent plot.
I am quite literal, this is the formula for an entire episode:
"A disclosed number of contestants are faced with a weekly or daily challenge, obstacle, event, or item. They must present their piece which must adhere to this challenge/obstacle/item/event. The person with the weakest presentation will be evicted."
The only exception I can see to this is the singing ones (like Australia's Got Talent, Australian Idol, and The X Factor). But these are hardly valid because the judging there is already established to be so arbitrary and full of double-standard it isn't funny.
And the worst thing is that these also adhere to my original statement of "seasonal" being "decade". These shows are aired because they're a "safe bet". People will watch them because people love pretending like they personally know someone who appears on TV each week; hence the personal interviews during these shows, and incessant use of close-ups.
They air them because they know that the gap they have called "prime time" can be filled for this particular decade with this show, and they know that people will watch it regardless of what tripe it is.
And the worst thing is that the companies don't deny that these shows are retarded, and essentially demean quality television.
Hey look; an oxymoron.
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